How to Become A Good Ancestor
Doctor. Lawyer. Engineer.
Those are the three careers many Black and Brown immigrant parents wanted their children to become when I was growing up. And I was not the exception.
I took a shot at studying to become number 2 - a lawyer. And it was on that path that I first encountered a complete lack of clarity around what I was here to do as a changemaker.
I don’t know why I wanted to be a lawyer. Maybe it’s because one of my uncles worked at a legal firm, and I looked up to him. It was probably because I loved the legal shows of the late 90s and early 00’s like Ally McBeal and The Practice.
I thought lawyering would be just like that. I was so wrong. 😂
By the end of my first month at uni I knew I did not want to be a lawyer. But I stuck at it, waiting for it to get better. By my third year, I was depressed, anxious, and completely disconnected from any sense of purpose. I absolutely hated law. But I had no idea what I wanted to do instead.
One night, completely at my wit’s end with lack of clarity, I grabbed a notebook. I had spent the last three years focused on what I did not want. I hadn’t taken a moment to tune in, listen, and dream of what I did want.
I started writing.
I want to do work that helps make the world a better place.
I want to help make people’s lives better.
I want to do good in the world.
I didn’t know what that meant or what that would look like. But there was something about the act of writing it down that soothed me. I had never said these words to myself before, but they felt true. I looked at the words I had written, and took the deepest breath I had taken all day.
Clarity.
I was no longer thinking anxious thoughts like ‘I don’t want to be a lawyer!’ and ‘I have no idea what I’m doing!’. Instead I was thinking expansive thoughts like ‘I could do work that makes me feel inspired!’ and ‘I could do work that makes me and other people happier!’.
Journaling helped me reconnect to the light and the possibility that lived within me. It reminded me that there is wisdom that lies within, if I take the time to listen. It reminded me that I am the author of my own story.
That I can change the story.
Ever since then, I’ve used journaling and reflective writing as a way to reconnect with myself. Especially when I feel disconnected from my why or feel a lack of clarity about my next steps. I go inwards, I get the answers from inside. I check if that feels right. And then I move from that place.
As changemakers, there are so many causes, actions, and people calling for our attention. If we’re not careful, if we don’t take the time to periodically check-in, we can soon find ourselves like I was at uni - at our wit’s end.
And that’s a slippery slope to be on. Because before we know it, we feel disconnected, then purposeless, then apathetic, and then burned out.
And burned out changemakers are not effective at making change.
So as we continue to move into this new year, I invite you to think about how you can cultivate a regular practice of checking in with yourself. Perhaps it’s a little conversation with yourself in the morning before you get out of bed, or while you’re in the shower. Or maybe it’s 10 minutes of daydreaming in the afternoon.
Personally, I’m always amazed by what wisdom a 20 minute journaling session can yield :)
Whatever practice works for you, take some time today to tune in, listen, and honour what your inner wisdom is telling you about your next steps as a changemaker.
You might be surprised what answers are revealed ;)
To our healing + liberation,
Layla
P.S. Our self-study course, Claim Your Space: Foundations For Changemaking is all about finding clarity. Click here to sign up.
