This is what we forget about doing the work
A couple of years ago, while preparing to teach antiracism classes, I sent out a survey to my audience with the following question: What are your 3 biggest questions on practicing anti-racism?
I wanted to better understand, and therefore better serve, the needs that aspiring changemakers had, by identifying recurrent themes and weaving them into my classes.
The exercise was super helpful and confirmed much of what I thought needed to be included in my classes.
This weekend, while spring cleaning and re-organizing my Google Drive, I came across the spreadsheet that had the almost 150 answers that people submitted.
Though my work has expanded from purely antiracism into changemaking, justice, and healing, I was curious to see what people wrote back then.
As I scanned through the spreadsheet, familiar themes arose:
❔How do I move past the guilt and shame?
❔How do I call out/call in my friends, family, and colleagues?
❔How do I teach my kids to be antiracist?
❔How do I know if I’m actually helping, or just being a white saviour?
All valid questions that I know people with white privilege struggle with, even now.
But there was one question that stopped me in my tracks.
It wasn’t that the question wasn’t well-meaning, or not genuine. It was that the question showed me just how much we often misunderstand what antiracism and anti-oppression work is actually about.
The question was as follows (emphasis added by me):
“Is there a formula to put my thoughts and words through, to double-check if I am talking from privilege or racism?”
—
Now, before I go on, I do want to share a couple of disclaimers:
My reaction to this comment isn’t from a place of judgement or disdain. I genuinely understand where this is coming from, and am grateful to anyone seeking answers to how to be a good ancestor. Most of us are trying our best, and I honour that.
I do not know anything about the person who shared this question, including whether or not they are neurodivergent. The desire for a formula may be from a place of trying to find ways to navigate this work and antiracist conversations as a neurodiverse person. As a neurotypical person, I want to make sure not to center my way of seeing things as the ‘right’ or ‘only’ way.
That all being said, there were other questions in the survey along a similar vein, e.g. ❔“How can I self-assess to make sure that my own biases are in check?”
❔“What's the #1 anti-racism practice I should employ daily?”
❔Will I always feel like I am lacking knowledge in this subject? Is there a proficient level for white women?”
❔How to sift through all the reviews of who (Black activists) to support?
❔What is the tentative timeline regarding the elimination of racism, in your estimation?
These questions, while well-meaning, stop me in my tracks because they take a very detached, almost administrative approach to antiracism work.
There is no heart or humanity in these questions.
Instead it feels like trying to put together an efficient checklist or set of steps that will 1, 2, 3,.... lead us into an antiracist world.
But that’s not how this works.
The experience of racism for those of us on the receiving end of it is not detached or efficient. It is a non-stop, intergenerational, personal, physical, and spiritual assault of the mind, body, and soul. There’s no 1, 2, 3 step formula to fixing that.
Because this work isn’t about fixing. It’s about healing.
—
And that’s the missing piece I think many of us forget. Or rather that we have been conditioned to forget.
🧠 We have been conditioned by Systems Of Supremacy (SOS) to be detached and dispassionate about this very violent culture that we live in.
🧠 We have been conditioned by SOS to approach ourselves and one another in ways that don't often allow us to see our shared humanity.
🧠 We have been conditioned by SOS to want the ‘right’ and ‘perfect’ answers, and to reject the places where the answer doesn’t come in a straightforward formula, assessment, or bullet-pointed list.
And we have been conditioned not to see the conditioning. All of us.
Antiracism, anti-oppression, and change-making work is about deconditioning ourselves from the ways of being that SOS have conditioned us into.
And that means it’s about healing.
Healing ourselves. Healing our relationships. And healing our cultures.
So that justice becomes a way of life, and not just a checklist.
This healing work is, in my opinion, the greatest work of our lifetimes.
Because it requires us to do the inner work that’s needed to create social change. And the social change work needed to create collective liberation.
It is deeply human work. No formula or check-list necessary.
—
If I were to run this questionnaire again, I might ask the question differently.
Instead of asking: What are your 3 biggest questions on practicing antiracism? I might ask:
What are the 3 things white supremacy has conditioned you into that you would like to heal?
I imagine the answers would be very different.
❤️🩹I would like to heal my rigidity and perfectionism.
❤️🩹I would like to heal my distrust of Black people.
❤️🩹I would like to heal my sense of apathy and detachment at social issues.
❤️🩹I would like to heal the ways in which I don’t even realise I believe I am superior.
❤️🩹I would like to heal my fear of using my voice to speak truth to power.
What would our antiracism and justice work look like if we approached it through this framework of healing?
That’s the work we are proud to be doing at Become A Good Ancestor. I hope you’ll join us 🔥
To our healing + liberation,
Layla
